Inside The Old Noggin

Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

28 October

I told you he was not dead! Michael Jackson Sighting

Over a year ago I posted an entry about Michael Jacksons Death.   Here it is a little over a year later, and guess what.  Hes not dead!  Recent reports from the remote Himalayan forests of Burma have reported MJ sightings.  He is said to be heard sneezing in the rain, most likely caused by all the plastic surgery causing his nose to be removed.  The Children of Berma have been reporting weird sounds being heard at night outside their windows.  Strange shadows seen off in the distance, and weird marks found on their windows.

Like i said before, i knew he was not dead.  He is still out there Our children are not safe.  Right now he is terrorizing Berma… your backyard could be next!

3 July

Stop With All The Michael Jackson Nonsense

10 June

Why is Leather So Expensive?

So the other day I got to thinking, Why is leather so expensive?  Why is leather considered a luxury item?  The more i thought about this, the more confused i got.  As i sat there eating my hamburger in Cheeseburger in Paradise, i wondered,  how is it possible that Americans consume so much beef, yet we are still stupid enough to pay extra for leather seats.  Hell i ate that cow the seats should be free.  Ill tell you this much… ill get down to the bottom of this puzzle.

Dinner waiting to happen

11 April

Big Bad Bob’s Big Bad Blog!!

So i dont know if you all know BigBadBob, but hes got a new site.  He was formerly known as Ron Connery, Now he can be found at http://www.bigbadbob113.com go visit him.

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17 March

My complaint about Robert

So here I am taking time out of my busy schedule to let you and maybe a few other people know that it is our duty to our children and to their children and to our yet unborn posterity to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from officialism, irrationalism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. For openers, by allowing Robert to inculcate cranky paroxysms, we are allowing him to play puppet master. All he really wants is to hang onto the perks he’s getting from the system. That’s all he really cares about.

Is it important that Robert uses vulgar language and makes obscene gestures at those whose opinions differ from his? Of course it’s important. But what’s more important is that the fallout from his snarky catch-phrases has been an increasingly predatory environment of calculation, scheming, and pandering that will, by virtue of its omnipresence, submerge us in a sea of credentialism. But I digress. This is not the first time I’ve wanted to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different kinds of prudish gnosticism. But it is the first time I realized that if you read his writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that snotty, combative scalawags are easily housebroken. But if you read Robert’s writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it’s clear that if we don’t remove the Robert threat now, it will bite us in our backside quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “hexosemonophosphoric”.

Robert is currently limited to shrieking and spitting when he’s confronted with inconvenient facts. Sooner or later, however, Robert is likely to switch to some sort of “trick us into trading freedom for serfdom” approach to draw our attention away from such facts. If you want to clear up these muddied waters with some reality, then tell everyone you know the truth, that some day, in the far, far future, he will realize that his most recent mawkish claim (viz., that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented utterances) is a tissue of lies, bias, and emotional manipulation from beginning to end. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Robert may be reasonably cunning with words. However, he is entirely scummy with everything else. By working together, we can protect our peace, privacy, and safety. May we never forget this if we are to deny Robert  and his assistants a chance to trade facts for fantasy, truth for myths, academics for collective socialization, and individual thinking for group manipulation.

Special Thanks to the complaint letter generator http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

22 August

Cocaine’s a Hell of a Drug… Er Drink

It Tastes Like A Cherry Flavored Fireball

Sunday is my birthday, and as part of the celebration my best friend Rob came down from Albany for a night of gaming fun. The night started like any gaming night, with a visit to my friend General Tsao over at the Middletown You You, and ended like a night I will soon not forget. This story though, starts about a month ago. I had a craving for the Doggy Goodness that Rich’s Hotdogs has to offer. I stopped in picked up the dogs, and something in the mini fridge on the counter caught my eyes. This shiny red can with the word Cocaine written on it. Did my eyes deceive me? Was this the mystery energy drink I had heard so much about over a year prior to this date? I reached in and focused on the label the words ENERGY DRINK was written around the top of the can. This was it! I had wondered so long what it was like. And just my luck, they had TWO! I knew immediately what I was going to do with these. I got back to my house on this lucky Saturday afternoon, and while I was chowing down on the Hot Doggy Goodness. I happened to catch Rob Online. At that point I planted the seed. I told him that the next time he came down for game night I had a surprise, and how right I was, such a surprise I was not even expecting what was going to happen. Flash back to last night. We get back to my house at about 6:30 and I unveil the drinks. At first Rob was shocked that I had actually found them, then excited for the fun to come. We decided it was too early for an energy boost since we had just filled our bellies with the general. We sat down ad time flew, next thing we knew it was close to 10pm, and we had not taken a single break, from the relentless gaming onslaught. We both decided it was a good time to call our loved ones and tell them that they are so. Somewhere between 10:30 and 11, we were looking for the munchies.

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8 July

International Trailer for The Dark Knight

One of this years most highly anticipated movies for me is the new Batman Titled The Dark Knight. While browsing around the internet, i have located this really cool International trailer which shows a few pieces of very important details. In a way im a little disappointed, because i would have rather seen these things in the theater. But like any crazy movie fan. i had to watch this trailer, and now im super exicted for batman 3

Trailer provided courtesy of http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/the-dark-knight/international-trailer

30 June

The Bucket List


The bucket list is a movie about 2 older men, terminally diagnosed with cancer. They both have been given 6 months to live. Together they decided to fulfill their Bucket List. A list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. This got me thinking. What do i want to accomplish before i die. And i truly don’t have an answer for it. I guess there’s a few things that i would like to do, but I’m finding it hard to make a list of things i would actually want to do before i die. So here we go. The Bucket List 2008

1. Go over seas maybe tour Europe.
2. Do a cross country drive across the USA.
3. Go Sky Diving
4. Be a crazy old Grandpa.
5. Live Comfortably
6. Feel that i lived a full life.
7. Bring Joy and happiness to all my loved ones.
8. Let Rob Win one game night.
9. Write a Book
10.


That’s all i can think of right now.

Hopefully more will come to me as the years move on.

10 June

CompTia A+ Certification

A few weeks ago i wrote this blog entry.

So today i took the A+ Certification Tests. For those who don’t know, the A+ Certification process involves 2 tests, The 601 A+ essentials, and the 602 IT Technician. Each test, tests your knowledge in different areas of computer support, repair, and general knowledge that any IT support person should have. For the past 7 years i have been making excuses why i could not take the tests, and otherwise being lazy. I had built up these tests in my mind to be harder then they actually are. I finally decided, I need to start moving ahead with my life. Its strange how sometimes you build something up in your mind so much, and it ends up being the complete opposite. In the past, Not having an A+ certification cost me potential job’s. I even spoke to a place that would not even interview me because i did not have this certification. I know plenty of people who have obtained this certification, and i would not trust my PDA with them, let alone a whole computer. The only thing Organized test like this show is that someone can cram their head full of a bunch of useless data, and regurgitate it back on to a piece of paper (in this case a computer screen). Yet, with out this stupid piece of paper, you are not worth looking at. I can understand why certifications exist, but there should be more to these things. How can someone who has almost no idea how to fix a computer, be certified to do so? what if an ASCE Master technician never had to touch a car, would you want him working on your car? This just goes to show that there are 2 types of learned people in the world. Those who are “Book Smart” and those who are “Street Smart.” In this case “Street Smart” means someone who has practical knowledge on a subject that you would never get out of a book. Basically, real world experience. This is what i would be looking for as an employer, not a piece of paper claiming they know what they are doing. Now that i have set the goal of obtaining my A+ Certs, i am now Pressing forward towards my goal of Microsoft Certified Software Engineer (MCSE). From there… who knows. See you then.