Inside The Old Noggin

Archive for March, 2009

17 March

My complaint about Robert

So here I am taking time out of my busy schedule to let you and maybe a few other people know that it is our duty to our children and to their children and to our yet unborn posterity to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from officialism, irrationalism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. For openers, by allowing Robert to inculcate cranky paroxysms, we are allowing him to play puppet master. All he really wants is to hang onto the perks he’s getting from the system. That’s all he really cares about.

Is it important that Robert uses vulgar language and makes obscene gestures at those whose opinions differ from his? Of course it’s important. But what’s more important is that the fallout from his snarky catch-phrases has been an increasingly predatory environment of calculation, scheming, and pandering that will, by virtue of its omnipresence, submerge us in a sea of credentialism. But I digress. This is not the first time I’ve wanted to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different kinds of prudish gnosticism. But it is the first time I realized that if you read his writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that snotty, combative scalawags are easily housebroken. But if you read Robert’s writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it’s clear that if we don’t remove the Robert threat now, it will bite us in our backside quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “hexosemonophosphoric”.

Robert is currently limited to shrieking and spitting when he’s confronted with inconvenient facts. Sooner or later, however, Robert is likely to switch to some sort of “trick us into trading freedom for serfdom” approach to draw our attention away from such facts. If you want to clear up these muddied waters with some reality, then tell everyone you know the truth, that some day, in the far, far future, he will realize that his most recent mawkish claim (viz., that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented utterances) is a tissue of lies, bias, and emotional manipulation from beginning to end. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Robert may be reasonably cunning with words. However, he is entirely scummy with everything else. By working together, we can protect our peace, privacy, and safety. May we never forget this if we are to deny Robert  and his assistants a chance to trade facts for fantasy, truth for myths, academics for collective socialization, and individual thinking for group manipulation.

Special Thanks to the complaint letter generator http://www.pakin.org/complaint/