Cocaine’s a Hell of a Drug… Er Drink

It Tastes Like A Cherry Flavored Fireball

Sunday is my birthday, and as part of the celebration my best friend Rob came down from Albany for a night of gaming fun. The night started like any gaming night, with a visit to my friend General Tsao over at the Middletown You You, and ended like a night I will soon not forget. This story though, starts about a month ago. I had a craving for the Doggy Goodness that Rich’s Hotdogs has to offer. I stopped in picked up the dogs, and something in the mini fridge on the counter caught my eyes. This shiny red can with the word Cocaine written on it. Did my eyes deceive me? Was this the mystery energy drink I had heard so much about over a year prior to this date? I reached in and focused on the label the words ENERGY DRINK was written around the top of the can. This was it! I had wondered so long what it was like. And just my luck, they had TWO! I knew immediately what I was going to do with these. I got back to my house on this lucky Saturday afternoon, and while I was chowing down on the Hot Doggy Goodness. I happened to catch Rob Online. At that point I planted the seed. I told him that the next time he came down for game night I had a surprise, and how right I was, such a surprise I was not even expecting what was going to happen. Flash back to last night. We get back to my house at about 6:30 and I unveil the drinks. At first Rob was shocked that I had actually found them, then excited for the fun to come. We decided it was too early for an energy boost since we had just filled our bellies with the general. We sat down ad time flew, next thing we knew it was close to 10pm, and we had not taken a single break, from the relentless gaming onslaught. We both decided it was a good time to call our loved ones and tell them that they are so. Somewhere between 10:30 and 11, we were looking for the munchies.

This seamed like the right time to imbibe the secret weapon. Both Rob and I have had energy drinks before, red bull, monster, rockstar, Hogan’s energy drink, ECT. I don’t drink them very often, because I don’t like the calorie intake that is usually associated with them. But when I do, their effects rarely last more then a few hours. This seamed like the best plan. That would put us around 1am ish to end game night, which would be perfect since I had to work at 8 am this morning. I quickly ran to the bathroom while Rob grabbed the drinks. As I exited the bathroom I hear, “DUDE… My Throat… IT Burns!” At first I did not believe him. What the hell was he talking about? This is an energy drink what the hell is in it that would cause your throat to burn. But, I followed the unwritten guy code, when he said “You gotta try it.” I followed suit. At first I sipped it, and tasted a sweet cherry flavor, so I sipped a bit more. I looked at Rob, and thought what is he crazy… burning, but then it happened. It started as a tingle going down my throat. I did not feel any thing until after I stopped sipping and I had finished swallowing it. The tingling grew stronger quickly into a burning like feel. The burning lingered for a while, but following the unwritten guy code we continued to drink it. After 10-15min, I look over and Rob had finished his. I still had about half of mine left, I quickly followed suit. We sat and continued gaming while this Energy High, like I never felt before slowly filled my body. About 20 min after finishing the sweet cocaine, Rob leans over to me, and says, we need cookies, chocolate chip cookies. I then realized that my throat was still burning! At this point I felt like things were starting to move in slow motion around me. Next thing I knew it was 2 am. I had lost all concept of time. I still had to get up in the morning and go to work. I explained this to Rob and he packed up and got ready to leave. I quickly hopped into bed, and prepared to go to sleep. Usually I’m the type of person where my head hits the pillow and I’m out like a light, but last night… that was a different story. There I am at 3 am, still texting and chatting to Rob, and finally at some point I fell asleep. The dreams I had were quite weird. The only one I barely remember involved me running a TGI Fridays, I don’t remember much more then that, but thought to my self it was an odd dream. My alarm went off and I hopped out of bed I with a tremendous amount of energy. Now those who know me, I am hardly a morning person, but this morning was the complete opposite. I jumped in the shower and was out in minutes. I had woken up with as much energy as I went to sleep with. Its like it was sitting there waiting for me. I have never felt both so dead tired, and full of so much energy at the same time, it was a little scary. I finally started to come down at about 11am, and I now feel like a zombie. I’m sitting here in the office, because everyone left, and I got stuck staying with the security people while they fixed our access panels. All I want to do right now is sleep.

Cocaine Facts:

Each can only has 70 Calories
It is equivalent to 3.5 RedBull’s
It does not actually have Cocaine in it.
Its not Called “A Cherry Flavored Liquid Fireball” For nothing.


2 thoughts on “Cocaine’s a Hell of a Drug… Er Drink

  1. That shit was off the hook dude. I would so do it again.

    “Its like drinking a cherry flavored atomic fireball”

  2. Dude that sounds awesome!!! I hope we can find some more of those when Im home in October so I can try it.

    P.S. Happy Belated Birthday!!!

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